I feel powerful inside. I hide it. I know things. I hide it. I feel things. No one knows. I want to fit in. I don’t. I search for those like me. I have hidden for so long. They don’t see me. I create a mask. For me. For my life. Yet I still spill [...]
Archive for the ‘what i learned today’ category
Jul 26 2010
What I learned today – where i am going
I wasn’t able to write the letter for my 45 virtues last week so I was doing it today and was having a very difficult time. I had a lot on my mind, wasn’t in a very positive mood and was feeling a lot of resistance toward it. Fact is that I have had a [...]
Jul 22 2010
What I learned today – Day 16
I went out for a date with a friend tonight and as we were saying good-bye I was overwhelmed with this feeling of gratitude. I was realizing how valuable this friendship is to me and how I am so very fortunate to be able to have so many awesome women in my life. I love [...]
Jul 15 2010
What I learned today – Day 15
Today was a really good day. I had an appointment with a yoga studio to talk about offering prenatal classes from their location and it was a go almost from the start. After a year of a lot of rejection and pushing myself in areas where I am very uncomfortable – this was a huge [...]
Jul 14 2010
What I learned today – Day 14
Last night I was asking my meditation mentor if it was ok if I just listened to the words of the audio and didn’t really try and meditate because I seem to have a lot of very random thoughts that like to come into my head…He said “yeah, it’s ok, but it’s not meditating” and [...]
Jul 13 2010
What I learned today – Day 13
I am sitting here looking at the screen. No words really coming to mind. Trying to think of the most inspirational thing that I learned today… I’m in funk but different than the one I was in before Sunday. I was explaining to someone that it almost feels like I have gone into hibernation. I’m [...]
Jul 11 2010
What I learned today – Day 11
What a day… It started off pretty badly. Which I guess was to be expected at some point in the day seeing that I had a horrible sleep. I am extremely emotional when I am tired. The kids were good and Craig was understanding but it was like every negative thought I have about myself [...]
Jul 10 2010
What I learned today – Day 10
Honestly there are days when I just want to disappear, go and live in the bush and not have to deal with the world as we know it. Tonight I had a postpartum visit with a client and was trying to show some interest in their baby so asked: Me: “So do negro babies lose [...]
Jul 09 2010
What I learned today – Day 9
I’ve been down the last few days. The birth I attended at the beginning of the week has really raised some questions about whether I am cut out or even have the qualities to be a birth doula. Sucks. Anyway, because of that I have not been very positive and tend to shut down when [...]
