On Saturday Craig picked his card and looked at me and said:

C: I think they must have thought up a list of ideas for the guys and dumbed them down – if I only did what the card said you would be mad.
Me: No I won’t…(thinking, yup I will)

So I had pretty low expectations about this week. I probably asked him everyday if he wanted to give me my surprise and it was always a no…umph.  Really I just wanted to know what it was to see if he was right. I wasn’t expecting anything that might actually lead to some romance.

Friday morning we had a pretty intense talk about you guessed it… it wasn’t a fight but there was definitely tension. While we were making supper I tried to break the ice and I asked him again if he wanted to give me my surprise and he said no…umph…my phone rings.

I got great news on the call and poured myself a glass of wine and cranked up hit list – it was time to celebrate! We had a nice dinner and as the kids played and danced we flopped onto the couch for a cuddle moment and he said “do you want your surprise now?” – YES!!

And this was it…

Everytime I look at you
I see a person who is
Beautiful
Smart
Sexy
And loves me more than I love myself

You show me your love in many ways
And in my guises
Wife
Mother
Friend
Humanitarian
You give so much to everyone

You are special to me in every way
You help build me up when I am down
You laugh with me
You cry with me
You love with me
You are everything I would want in a wife

You are the world to me
I love you more everyday
I hope you know how
Special
Loved
Beautiful
You are…

I love you!

WOW!! I wasn’t expecting that…and I could barely believe that he wrote it, I asked him where he found it on the internet so that made it even more special that he wrote something like that for me. It was a really special moment and I have thought about it over and over this past week.

A bit later he let me see his card and his task for the week was to complete the Roses are Red, Violets are Blue… poem…he was right…I don’t think that would have gone over quite as well. And I’ll close by saying that I bet he was happy to have written something from the heart…it ended in a hot hot night!!!

So we know from week 2 how I was feeling pissy about the fact that he got another really good week – basically dinner out. I’m happy to say that I did get on board and started thinking about how to make it special. One of the instructions was to meet at the location separately and for me to “tickle his five senses”…now that I think of it – it should have said 6…that would have been funny…but anyway…moving on.

Money is tight so that was also another reason I was slightly annoyed with this second card – I have a busy life, I need things I can do fast and easy .  I started off the week thinking about making dinner and shipping the kids off to my mom’s for the night, but honestly it just felt like too much work…I’m not much of a cook and for me to orchestrate something like that would take me a year…nope…restaurant it is.

I have a friend that works as a manage at a local restaurant and ask her if we could stop in and if she could use her super powers for us…she agreed. So the plan was for me to drop the kids off – go and pick him up at work and then we would go and have dinner. I would dress up and try and smell pretty…I figured that “tickling” 3 of his 5 senses would trigger the 6th.

Thursday was pretty much a day like no other. After dinner I mentioned that I would drive him to work so I could go and get groceries in the day – not suspecting anything he agreed. Check. Then we sit down to watch a movie: Date Night (ironic as that is to me now) and we have a really nice evening.  Afterwards I made a little joke, he read more into it, thought something was going to happen, I was planning on watching a show…the events that followed…not so nice.  He slept on the couch (his choice) and I slept upstairs sweating because I wouldn’t go downstairs to turn up the air-conditioner.  And then the sun dawns on Friday…

Little was said and he left for work. Without going into detail, I knew this was a different kind of fight. We somehow texted our way through it while he was at work and came to a sad conclusion that “we can make a nice life for the kids”. UGH.

He came home early and we talked, cried and shared some honest feelings. Even though we have likely had this fight so many times before, we have new knowledge through our meditation class and of course we are different as we grow and change. So it really felt like we made a small move forward.

As we were finishing up our talk I asked him if he still wanted to do my card. I told him what it was and he suggested we just stay home as we were both exhausted emotionally and physically. But life must go on whether you are tired or not…we have 4 kids that need to eat and had a really busy weekend planned…so I suggested that we at least drop the kids off and go and do groceries. So, off we go for our big romantic night…doing groceries.

We drove out about 30mins to a farm to buy some meat and by the time we were done that it was time to eat so we ended up going to the same restaurant that I had planned (just not the one where my friend works)…and had a nice dinner – money grows on trees right?

As I said when I started these posts – Craig and I have had our problems. We have somehow muddled through them along the years, some years being horrible, some a little less horrible.  Even though going through a week like this is tough – it reminds me of the importance of keeping the romance alive, the importance of honesty and how much love Craig and I have for each other.

We are in Manitoba where the mosquitos are the size of horses. Libby’s bites used to swell up to the size of an adult hand, but if I get the lavender on quick it doesn’t, and if it has, it brings it down nice and quick and the itch goes away almost right away. ~Sarah D.

Let’s get started with some logistics:

Botanical Name: Lavandula angustifolia – it’s important to know the botanical names of the essential oils you are using so that if you are looking at different brands.  In most plants there are several different species, so each oil can have therapeutic value but likely offer different types of healing. For example, lavandula angustifolia is a great oil to use when you have suffered any kind of burn but other types of lavender oil can and will make the burn worse and more painful. So you don’t have to become an aromatherapist to use oils, just know the botanical names of the oils you do use frequently in case you are looking for it on your shopping travels.

Almost from the time Cameron was born he had a sty. At some points it was quite large and red.  It didn’t seem to bother him but it was really big and noticeable. When we moved to Ontario when he was about 9mths old it just went away.  It was gone for quite sometime when it reappeared and I decided to give Lavender a try. I put a bit on my finger and rubbed it on the bridge of his nose. I didn’t really know if it would do anything because it was not applied directly…but I couldn’t apply it directly…it was on his eye!  The lavender did the trick, every time it has come back we put lavender on and within a short time it’s gone. ~Shanta

Properties: Analgesic, anticoagulant, anticonvulsant, antidepressant, antifungal, antihistamine, anti-infectious, anti-inflammatory, antimicrobial, antimutagenic, antiseptic, antispasmodic, antitoxic, antitumor, cardiotonic, regenerative, sedative.

Lavender is considered to be a universal oil. This means that it can be used for almost anything.  It is well known for it’s relaxing, sedative quality.

“I use lavender with a combo of oregano, tea tree and peppermint oil for my dog’s chronic yeast infections in her ears” ~@mirandababy

The ways I have used lavender:

• skin related issues: rashes, hives, bruises,cuts, wounds, burns, scars, sunburns
• teething
• for relaxation and calming
• depression
• acne
• in combination with other oils: fever, muscles aches
• ear aches

I love using lavender on the kids when they have gotten hurt as it offers germ protection and also helps them to calm down quickly. I have also used it for teething although I think that the effect was more calming in addition to them having a funny taste in their mouth than it was the pain going away…but I say “whatever works!!” When I have used it for ear aches or what looks to be sore ears I will apply the oil around the outside of the ears – remember never to drop any essential oil inside of the ear. I do know that some people have put a few drops on a cotton ball and then place that over the opening of the ear – but I have never needed to do that personally.

Lavender is a really fun oil and the rule of thumb is – if you don’t know what to use…use lavender.

This post should have been posted last week sometime but I’m happy it wasn’t – because I have more to share today.

So last week Craig got his card on Friday night. He started teasing me right away that he could do it the next day and blah blah blah…I was immediately skeptical that his card required the same effort that mine had…hhhmmm.

On Saturday night we put the kids to bed and I think I was at my computer about to write a blog…and he came over and took me by the hand and led me outside to our backyard where he had made us some tea, had a candle lit and had music playing…along with a bowl full of yummy gummy Jelly Bellies (a treat I only normally get once a year at Christmas…Jelly Bellies are not on the natural good for you list )

It was nice. It is something that I would love to do more often.

Unfortunately even though we are trying to focus more on romance…our kids are not – so our romantic moment was just that…a moment interrupted by a crying baby.

Yesterday I pulled my card. Umph. It’s another one that requires me to be pretty creative and is a pretty good one. I was simmering in not so great thoughts. This seems to be really going in his favor. As I sat there pouting I realized how deeply I have blamed him for our problems in this area of our life  – and perhaps this process is less for him but actually for me.  To learn to give even when I don’t want to. To give even when I don’t think it’s fair. To give when I feel I should be receiving.  Just give because it’s the right thing to do.

I know that I went into this process of 52 weeks thinking that this would teach Craig – give him some pointers…help him. Yesterday I realized that it’s possible that Craig might learn somethings, but it’s me that has lessons to learn and am thankful to learn them.

I’ll tell you what my card said this week but I’m not going to share what the cards say every week…if you want to try it yourself you’ll have to get your own cards!!! So this is what my card said:

Send flowers, a box of chocolates, or something special to him one day this week. Attach a sexy love note that will have him blushing!

I knew that flowers were not an option..I’m not even a big fan of flowers…but chocolate..yup, that’s a hit in this house. So the plan was something chocolate. I was concerned about our finances so was trying to think of how to get him chocolate without it costing a lot of money. So my initial plan was to buy an organic chocolate bar and stick a note in it and sneak it into his lunch on Wednesday. I wanted to do more but kept telling myself “It’s the the thought that is the important part here”…

Then a few things changed and I decided that I could do something a bit bigger so I looked into Edible Arrangements. Perfect. I only wanted to spend $25ish dollars so the smaller fruit/flower options were out and so started looking at the boxed fruit. I was about to get some chocolate covered strawberries when I noticed…drum roll please…peanut butter chocolate covered bananas.

I called my brother and asked him if he would deliver it to his work and sing him a little song that would make him blush…he agree. Perfect.

Then last night Craig tells me – “I’m working from home tomorrow”…ugh. I was happy that he was going to be home but a bit disappointed that I would have to revamp what I thought was the perfect execution.

I modified the plan and it turned out almost as good…and there were some fun texts after the delivery

This was a fun week. It was fun having a very specific plan and seeing how close I could come to accomplishing the task and it was fun to have other people involved…fun thinking of how he would react…it was just fun.

Craig gets to pull the card tomorrow…he seems excited and I’m excited to see what’s in store for me this coming week. I have to say, we are only one week in and I am pretty excited about the coming year…if you need to spruce up the romance in your relationship…get a hold of Michelle!!

OH…and don’t call after 9…thank yous are on order!!

I know things. I hide it.

I feel things. No one knows.

I want to fit in. I don’t.

I search for those like me.  I have hidden for so long. They don’t see me.

I create a mask. For me. For my life. Yet I still spill out. Confused they walk away.

I believe. I have a tribe.

My quest. To find it.

What benefits do certified pure therapeutic grade essential oils provide?

Essential oils are the regenerating, oxygenating, and immune defense properties of plants.

Essential oils are so small in molecular size that they can quickly penetrate the skin.

Essential oils are lipid soluble and are capable of penetrating cell walls, even if they have hardened because of oxygen deficiency. In fact, essential oils can affect every cell of the body within 20 minutes and then be metabolized like other nutrients.

Essential oils contain oxygen molecules which help to transport nutrients to the starving human cells. Because a nutritional deficiency is an oxygen deficiency, disease begins when the cells lack the oxygen for proper nutrient assimilation. By providing the needed oxygen, essential oils also work to stimulate the immune system.

Essential oils are very powerful antioxidants. Antioxidants create and unfriendly environment for free radicals. They prevent all mutations, work as free radical scavengers, prevent fungus, and prevent oxidation in the cells.

Essential oils are antibacterial, anticancer, antifungal, anti-infectious, antimicrobial, antitumor, antiparasitic, antiviral, and antiseptic. Essential oils have been shown to destroy all tested bacteria and viruses while simultaneously restoring balance to the body.

Essential oils may detoxify the cells and blood in the body.

Essential oils containing sesquiterpenes have the ability to pass the blood brain barrier, enabling them to be effective in the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease, Lou Gehrig’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, and multiple sclerosis.

Essential oils are aromatic. When diffused, they provide air purification by:

• removing metallic particles and toxins from the air;
• increasing atmospheric oxygen;
• increasing ozone and negative ions in the area, which inhibits bacterial growth;
• destroying odors from mold, cigarettes, and animals; and
• filling the air with fresh, natural aromatic scent

Essential oils help to promote emotional, physical, and spiritual healing.

This is obviously a very short, point form explanation of how oils work. I have highlighted what I think are the most important points to remember – that oils work at the cellular level and they deliver oxygen to your cells. After all these years of using oils I still find it amazing that nature is so interconnected that the life blood of a plant can help my body heal – awesome!!

So let’s get started on the fun stuff – the oils!!!

One of these friends is Michelle Lockwood. We met through a mutual friend and I have to admit that I wanted into the “cool mom club” when I met Michelle.  My first impression was classy, quiet yet delightful and confident. And I’ll also say that I assumed quite conservative…so you can only imagine my surprise when I walk up to a table and she is a product consultant for Passion Parties – WOW!! now I really want to be her friend just so I can figure this girl out!!

And it happened…I got an invite to her b-day…I had a foot in the door!

I have gotten to know Michelle bit by bit over the summer and I have figured out this much – she is a woman who cares about women which is at least one reasons she is a Passion Party consultant.

Because I know that my wonderful husband reads my blog (thanks hunny) I am going to leave the details for today. But I will share that my relationship is no different than anyone else and we go through our ups and downs, put priority on certain areas of our life as compared to others and well…we have kids. So, I shared with Michelle some thoughts and feelings about some intimate issues and she had two things to share with me – compassion and solutions. For both I am very thankful.  One of her first suggestions was 52 weeks of Romance. 26 cards for me, 26 cards for him…this was a great suggestion and I bought it.

I got my cards on the weekend and I decided to go first. So I pulled my card, scratched it and a few things happened. The first was me thinking “why didn’t I ever think of this before?” – oh yeah, I have a gazillion kids…and the next was “how am I going to pull it off” – for this week I have to be somewhat creative to be able to accomplish the task but it makes me think of him, how he will react and well…what might happen after that. So sure the card is fun but I think the fact that I have a task that requires me to focus on him in a totally different way will be what brings the most change to this part of our relationship.

I know that there are many couples that struggle with intimacy, live in almost if not sexless marriages and I think that for couples like us, who need some guidance, help,  and big neon lights pointing the way…52 weeks of Romance might just do the trick…you’ll have to follow along to find out!  (Thanks Michelle! <3)

Fact is that I have had a very emotional relationship with my dad and have felt hurt and disappointed. I had a difficult time writing Craig’s 45 virtues for the same reason…a lot of expectations and my mind instantly going to all of my negative memories and/or perceived unmet expectations. So, with so much weighing on my mind I was just finding this whole process really challenging. I thought about saving it and coming back to it but knew that the earliest I could get to it was Wednesday and who knows what will be on my plate by then…no. I had to finish it.

So I forced myself to continue and as I wrote one of the sentences, it was like I felt a shift, a crack and change. I went from this strong feeling of resistance and having to consciously keep my mind moving back to the positive to this flood of peacefulness and acceptance. I wrote the rest of the letter with a lot more ease than it had started.

I have been doing these 45 virtues for a few weeks now and I have seen and do see changes in myself and my relationships but I haven’t had this dramatic of an experience doing it – and it tells me something…I am changing. It’s a slow process and for the perfectionist in me it has been difficult that I am not able to just make the choice to be different…and be different. I have to learn to be patient and just do the work.

Today I did the work and was fortunate to see a glimpse of where I am going.

One of the reasons I love you the most is because how you have loved my mother. She needed someone who was ACCEPTING, LOVING, GENTLE, THOUGHTFUL, SENSITIVE, UNDERSTANDING and SACRIFICING so she could journey her path. Your example of PASSION and ROMANCE were important standards for your daughters to witness.

We had a great example of someone who was and still is HARD WORKING, RESPONSIBLE, FRIENDLY, PUNCTUAL, PREPARED and was a good PROVIDER.

Our home was filled with laughter because you are ANIMATED, FUNNY and PLAYFUL.

Now as a parent myself, I can see how many times you were SELFLESS, CONCERNED, SACRIFICING, COMMITTED and LOYAL to your family and how many times it would have required COURAGE, RESOURCEFULNESS and HUMILITY.

I like that you are so CURIOUS about things which in turn makes you KNOWLEDGEABLE and able to be TALKATIVE to just about anyone about anything.

You are CONFIDENT and CONVICTED in what you know and believe which is a great example when there are so many different sources to consider.

I remember those mornings when I would wake up and wiggle myself onto your lap as you drank your coffee and read a book or the paper…I’m sure there were some mornings you didn’t want a wiggly, bony, likely chatty 5, 6, 7 year old helping you to wake up – but I thank you for your KINDNESS and PATIENCE – those are special memories to me.

I think some of your best qualities are your WILLINGNESS and your HELPFULNESS. Along with those are your RESPECT for the law and your CAUTIOUSNESS especially when you are doing something new or being ADVENTUROUS.

I’ve always appreciated your LOGICAL and POSITIVE outlook at situations that were difficult to deal with. And I really appreciate when you tell me how PROUD you are of me.

As you get older and get more RELAXED – I appreciate that you still find ways to show your CARING and GIVING vitues because I know you could choose not too.

And I am so proud of your DETERMINATION that has allowed you to be SUCCESSFUL in becoming smoke free. It makes me happy to know that we will have many more years to share and experience all of your special virtues.

I love you.