Growing up my dad would always say “I believe in Santa” which really bothered me. If he would have said I believe in the spirit of Santa or the Christmas Spirit is Santa I would have been less annoyed – but as a kid who felt like I was in a special ‘I know there is no Santa’ club – this annoyed me.
After having kids there has always been an inner struggle about what decision to make about including Santa in our family traditions. I liked believing in Santa and wasn’t traumatized when I found out that there was a reason Santa and my mom had the same hand writing. But after I had kids, the parent in me had to consider that it is in fact a blatant lie, especially when you factor in all the talk about the elves and reindeer. As a family who tries to be environmentally conscious, it does promote consumerism and really highlights the gifts. The threats of “if you’re not good – Santa won’t come”…seems like a good intentioned tradition with a lot of mixed messages. Every year sitting on the fence about our feelings about it, we have had Santa part of our family traditions. The kids are told they are allowed to ask Santa for two things and usually the bigger gift will come from Santa and the smaller of the two, from us. Up until last year, the gifts were under $100 as the kids just wanted toys that reflected whatever they were interested in at the time…as Cameron hit 7ish, the request for a Nintendo DS came into play…so we have let them know that while they can ask for anything, it doesn’t mean that it’s 100% that Santa will bring it.
This weekend I received a whole new outlook on Santa. I have talked briefly here and there about how our finances have been and are currently very tight. Well we realized at the beginning of November that they were so tight that it was likely that Santa was not an option this year. Not that Santa would not come but that we would not be soliciting requests from the kids. We have a secret stash of gifts that we purchase all year and keep them for b-days and other special events, so we were just going to use those items for Christmas gifts. These are generally small gifts under $10 so definitely not a big “WOW” year.
Well leave it to me to announce our financial woes to the world. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a gabber, I like to talk and sometimes, well, I just don’t always know when to shut up. I shared this reality when I was out one day this past week. I could probably write a whole post on that moment alone, but I won’t…all I’ll say is that there were horrified looks and I just knew that I had said too much. My true intention was to highlight the fact that we had gifts, not that we were not buying any…but that didn’t matter once I finally shut my mouth. And I was right, that night I received an email with such a generous offer it brought me to tears “we would like to purchase the Santa gifts for the kids”…as much as my pride wanted to say no, my mama heart wanted to give her kids their Santa wishes, so I said “ok”.
I’ve thought about this whole idea of Santa for a few days as everything has been happening and all of sudden I got it, I finally understood why my dad said “I believe in Santa”. I finally got that Santa is the belief that you can really have anything you want. Perhaps by allowing our children to believe in Santa they learn to fully dream whatever their hearts desire, no matter how big and realize that by just believing, their wishes do come true. When we are talking about “stuff” this does not seem quite as inspirational, but when we think about these same children as adults, wanting all the things that will give their lives meaning – all of a sudden to believe in Santa seems to be quite more meaningful. When we think of all of us coming together and doing what we can to make the wishes of everyone we know around us come true one day of the year…perhaps that is more inspirational.
Do I want my children to think that Christmas is about getting gifts? No, of course not – but I do want my children to learn about believing that anything they want in life, they can have – regardless of what it is. Right now their lists are small on what they want or even need to make them feel happy in their lives – so for now, once a year we will practice believing in our dreams – believing in Santa.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Shanta Brownridge, Shanta Brownridge. Shanta Brownridge said: thoughts about believing in Santa – what am I really teaching my kids? http://bit.ly/7Sovgl [...]
I started ‘doing Santa’ with Kyle, and it did not go well! For a kid with a Daddy trying to buy love instead of just loving, Santa was the money shot. He would ask Santa for BIG things because then they were free. For someone who was the recipient of the Sally Ann Christmas food and toys, this was a big issue. I nixed Santa and the gifts were labelled as being from “your neighbours”.
Today things are not quite that bad, but we still don’t have Santa Claus in our Christmas. This year Libby watched more TV than usual and now has assumptions about Santa, but we decided that we have to stick with our decision. We want to stress the giving of gifts, not the receiving and Santa fights that goal.
That being said I don’t judge or begrudge anyone else their POV and see where you are coming from. This donor for you was the Sally Ann for me – once upon a time. It is incredible to know that you WILL be able to see your child wowed on Christmas. Regardless of the source.
I think each family should include whatever traditions work for them and make the holidays special for their family.
I loved believing in Santa and love the years I get unexpected gifts and love when I am able to do the same for others.
We have always had the rule that the kids can only ask for two things each year – and the gifts are getting bigger – but I guess I like that the kids can really dream for anything they want one time a year.