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Jul 22 2010

What I learned today – Day 16

category: what i learned today author: shanta

I went out for a date with a friend tonight and as we were saying good-bye I was overwhelmed with this feeling of gratitude. I was realizing how valuable this friendship is to me and how I am so very fortunate to be able to have so many awesome women in my life.

I love that while we might have lives that are similar in many ways, married, kids, lifestyle…it’s really our drive, determination and quest for something bigger that unites us. Our sharing goes beyond comparing our successes, but breaking down our failures so we can all move forward more quickly, together.

I go to bed thankful for my life full of women that inspire me, push me, challenge me, love me, sit with me, cry with me, and remind me of how truly awesome I must be to deserve their time, wisdom and friendship.

Thank you.

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Jul 20 2010

Elle Woods

category: everyday thoughts author: shanta

On Saturday I was getting over my birthday bash aka: a major hang-over.  This meant that it was a veg out day. Let the kids do whatever they want as long as it is peaceful and not hurting anyone and I’m going to let the t.v. do all the important thinking for the day.

I started scanning the guide and fell upon Legally Blond 2 that was coming on after the next show. I couldn’t remember if I had seen it and today was a good day for some no-brain t.v. watching and a few laughs. Perfect.

I like Elle. Even if I had the money, I don’t know if I would ever be quite the fashionista that she is but I do like her commitment to all things “style”.  I have to say that I was happy to be spending the afternoon with her…and as I watched the movie that I am now realizing I had seen before (who cares, I love it) I realized why I needed to attract it.

Elle is real and genuine. She knows what she likes. She walks with confidence and pride. She cares for people and tells them. She looks for solutions. She’s determined. She’s positive. She is happy and spreads happiness.  Elle is all the things I strive to be and one day become.  Watching this movie was so inspirational for me this time around because it was a great example and I as I was sitting there watching the movie, I kept thinking “This is what we are learning in our meditation class”. Ok, so my brain was still working a little bit – good thing…I needed this lesson today. Elle lives in soul consciousness and that is why she is so attractive…well along with great shoes ;) which always helps but really it’s about her virtuous soul.

I’m aware that Elle is not a real person yet I am hopeful that one day I am able to allow my spirit to emerge and be as bright and happy and transformative as the one we see when we watch Elle Woods.

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Jul 15 2010

What I learned today – Day 15

category: what i learned today author: shanta

Today was a really good day. I had an appointment with a yoga studio to talk about offering prenatal classes from their location and it was a go almost from the start. After a year of a lot of rejection and pushing myself in areas where I am very uncomfortable – this was a huge boost. It was interesting because I have been really contemplating my future as a doula and I had to force myself to even go to the meeting…I just wasn’t interested in another meeting that ended with a rejection…not this week at least.

Then I got home and learned of some other news that has the potential to change a few things for us in our personal life. I can’t really get into it because I don’t know if it’s really going to happen. But if it were to happen, a lot of the challenges we face with only having one car and the unpredictable schedule I have when going to births would be resolved.

What I learned today is how quickly life can change and how important it is to remain present, in the moment. This morning I was pouting, trying to think of how to get out of this meeting and tonight I am sitting here starting to pre-plan my classes in my head. I expected rejection and instead was offered opportunity. And this personal change was a total surprise and depending on how things go, could also be a world of opportunity for me.

I keep attracting what I want and need, I just need to remember to stay present, open and willing…it always comes.

Do not be concerned with the fruit of your action – just give attention to the action itself. The fruit will come of it’s own accord. ~Eckhart Tolle from Practicing the Power Of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises From the Power Of Now

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Jul 14 2010

What I learned today – Day 14

category: what i learned today author: shanta

Last night I was asking my meditation mentor if it was ok if I just listened to the words of the audio and didn’t really try and meditate because I seem to have a lot of very random thoughts that like to come into my head…He said “yeah, it’s ok, but it’s not meditating” and I said “I know, but I need to start somewhere” he said ” yes, and be patient with yourself, God is patient, has been patient and so you should be patient with you too”.

I’m not a very patient person. I think I have gotten better over the years but it’s not one of my strong virtues at this point. What I learned today is that it must become one of my strongest. I woke up this morning and just wanted all the things I don’t have, NOW. I felt like I was tired of waiting, sick of trying and just wanted what I want. I suppose a mini mental tantrum, yup still having those at 34. Sometimes that feeling is a motivator and if managed properly can result in a lot of positive moves forward but that wasn’t where I was at today.

Because of my impatience I end up with a lack of trust in myself, others and even the universal laws. It’s a spiral effect that leads somewhere but definitely not where I want to be and I know I put myself in my own way – sooooo dysfunctional at times.

I know that I need to believe, take action and be in alignment with all things I desire. Today I learned that I also need to be patient till I receive all things I desire.

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Jul 14 2010

Dr. Mom – Purity and Safety

category: Dr. Mom author: shanta

The first thing I ever talk about is the importance of using a pure essential oil. Because you can buy essential oils almost anywhere (even the dollar store) – and most if not all write on their label “100% pure” – it’s difficult to know what you are really getting.  Do you really believe that an oil that can be sold in a dollar store is 100% pure? There are a lot of factors when it comes to oil purity. Where it was grown, when the plants were picked, how it was extracted or distilled…all factors that the average normal consumer like myself and likely yourself can not verify, or know just by looking a bottle on a shelf.

The fact is that most essential oils on the market are diluted with a solvent. The solvent is usually a chemical like alcohol. You have to consider that if only a few drops of lavender can make a positive difference in your body what could a few drops of a chemical do in a negative way. What’s in or not in your oil matters!! My intention is to help parents learn how to use essential oils so I’m not going to tell you which oils to use but I do have recommendations.

When I started using oils, I purchased them from a direct selling company and used that brand for just over 7 years. At that point, as a regular consumer, I felt like it was the best I could find. I have likely smelled every brand sold in stores – I’m always checking – we have been a one income family and my loyalty is to purchasing the best product I can for the least amount of money. So far I have never found any store brand that even comes close to that brand.  About 1.5 years ago I was introduced to doTERRA and knew immediately upon smelling them and listening to the company philosophy that I would be making the switch that is how different the aroma was from my current brand. I also was happy to know that each batch of oil is third party tested for purity.  After only using them for a short time I was amazed at how powerful these oils were, the results were knocking me off my feet and I had used oils that I thought were the best – these were truly at a new level for quality and potency.

d?TERRA’s Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade essential oils are guaranteed to be 100% pure and natural and free of synthetic compounds or contaminates. They are subjected to rigorous mass spectrometry and gas chromatography testing to ensure extract composition and activity. d?TERRA’s 100% pure essential oils represent the safest and most beneficial essential oils available today.

There is another brand that I feel comfortable recommending, ONEgroup,  as they are certified organic and I use most of their other products and even though I do not have any concerns about the oil being 100% pure – I suspect that it is not as therapeutic as my doTERRA oils. (Normally at this point in the meeting I would pass both bottles around to let everyone smell the difference – everyone is always quite surprised by the difference). I encourage everyone to contact the company they are considering for oils and ask if they do third party testing of the oil. I will also say that in my experience most products that are sold from a direct selling company have higher quality than anything you will buy in a store (that’s why I buy almost everything from personal care products to spices from them) – so that is where I would start looking if you are doing research.

Ok, so you have decided on which oil to use – let’s cover some safety issues.  NOTE: These are safety recommendations when using a therapeutic grade essential oil – if you choose to use an oil that is not considered therapeutic, the side effects are numerous and unknown.

  • If you happen to get oil in your eyes – dilute with a carrier oil like olive or coconut oil – NEVER water. Water makes the oil spread and will make the discomfort much worse.
  • Oils do not go in eyes, nose, or inside ears.
  • With small children, I recommend most oils be applied to the feet and then put their socks on so that they don’t mistakenly touch their feet and then rub their eyes or face.
  • If you have sensitive skin, you should always do a patch test with any new oil you introduce.
  • If skin becomes irritated or uncomfortable dilute with a carrier oil like olive oil or coconut oil.
  • doTERRA essential oils have a dietary supplement box on their bottles of oil that are generally regarded as safe (GRAS) for internal use. ie: peppermint.  If your brand does not have a dietary supplement box, always consult a reference guide.
  • Headaches: If using a therapeutic grade oil – you can get a headache if you are a new user because the oil delivers oxygen to your cells and this can be overwhelming. You can also get a headache from using a therapeutic oil because of toxins in your body. Essential oils do a great job of purging toxins, but headaches and rashes can be unpleasant side effects. Open a window, and just start by using less – in time you will be able to use them at your leisure without getting headaches.  If using a non-therapeutic grade, it could be because of the solvent used to dilute the oil or other chemicals that were on the plant when harvested.
  • Drink lots and lots of water when using essential oils. Even the most healthy of us have toxins in our body and as I just mentioned, essential oils do a great job of ridding the body of them. If you don’t drink enough water and you have a load of toxins that is being cleared hit your liver, you will end up with rashes. Some might consider this to be a sign of a reaction to the oil, but most of the time it’s just a sign that you need to detoxify and drink more water and decrease the use of oils till the rash is gone.

Essential oils are fun and easy to use. Most people can use them with little to no problems but I like to address some of the concerns that I have had myself (remember my headache when I was sitting there smelling all those oils for the first time) or have heard from other people.  When starting to use any natural product you have to take time to learn how that product is going to react in your body and what works for you – the way our body uses or reacts to a natural products will be unique to you – that’s the great thing about it – you can customize it for your own personal make up and needs. It takes time and trust.

Now we are ready to get into the fun stuff – the oils!!! My next post will be about how oils work in the body and then I will be covering the oils in the Family Physician kit that is offered by doTERRA because it’s a great place for beginners. Follow along and have fun with your oils!!

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Jul 13 2010

What I learned today – Day 13

category: what i learned today author: shanta

I am sitting here looking at the screen. No words really coming to mind. Trying to think of the most inspirational thing that I learned today…

I’m in funk but different than the one I was in before Sunday. I was explaining to someone that it almost feels like I have gone into hibernation. I’m not upset, I’m not sad, I’m not depressed. I just feel quiet.

Today is my birthday and it is definitely ranked in the top 5 of my favorite days of the year. It’s a day that I definitely want to celebrate and make special as it’s the day I came into the world and I think that’s pretty great – for me and the world :)   Normally I would make a big deal about it and basically force everyone else around me to do the same but I honestly didn’t care today. I am having a fun girls night on Friday night and I thought earlier this morning that maybe knowing I was celebrating in a few days was the reason, but that has never been the case before…there have been some years I have “celebrated” in some way everyday for 4 days…but today I just felt quiet and the significance of the day was lost…for this year anyway.

I think I am in a shift or am about to learn something new…the question for now is what…

What I learned today: Quietness will teach me.

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Jul 13 2010

45 Virtues – Philippe

category: 45 virtues author: shanta

This is the first list of 45 virtues I did for my class assignment.

Philippe is my brother. We’ve never had a close relationship and I take full responsibility. Unfortunately at an extremely young age (5), I had needs that he couldn’t fill – be a girl. I wanted a sister and instead got a brother. I don’t like that I felt that way but I also craddle that 5 year old for what she lacked that she couldn’t find any love for a baby…

But I grew up and had many chances to chose to feel differently and act differently and even though I made attempts…it’s never been enough to heal the relationship completely. While in a relationship there are two people making choices, he has made his and I have made mine and when doing this list I realized how deeply my negativity has affected the relationships I care about.  It makes me sad. Very sad. I am fortunate to have a loving family and a heart that is open to change…so I know that love can heal all things.

When there is a moment when I allow negativity to be a part of my thoughts when it comes to Philippe, this is the letter I will read to remind myself of how truly awesome he is and how grateful I am that he is my brother.

Dear Philippe,

You’re a really special person and I wanted to let you know just a few of the things I have witnessed in you, admire about you and believe about you.

When you are in the room I know that I will be fine because you are PROTECTIVE and FEARLESS. I also know that I will get to smile because you are HAPPY and FUNNY. Your ADVENTUROUS, ENERGETIC, RISK TAKER personality is a constant reminder of living without regret.

While you are STRONG, MOTIVATED, pushing your ENDURANCE with DISCIPLINED effort, it’s also nice to see the side of you that is SENSITIVE, CARING, THOUGHTFUL, GIVING and ENCOURAGING and UNDERSTANDING and RESPECTFUL.

I admire how you PROVIDE are DEDICATED, LOYAL and feel RESPONSIBLE for your family. When I watch you with your daughter and see your PATIENCE and LOVE I know that she is going to grow up with many of her father’s great qualities.

I’m never surprised to see you surrounded by many friends because of your ACCEPTING, COMPASSIONATE, FRIENDLY, FUN, SUPPORTIVE, POSITIVE, HELPFUL virtues.

You’re one of the first people I think of when I need someone I can DEPEND on.

It’s been an inspiration to see how CREATIVE, DRIVEN, SMART, SKILLFUL, RESOURCEFUL, CONFIDENT and CLEVER you are when it seems life is hard for you.

I love that you can get EXCITED and CURIOUS about something new. How you do many things aiming for PERFECTION and not settling for less.

I hope that others know how FORGIVING you are – I am thankful you have been with me.

And last but not least, I love that my brother has STYLE.

I love you deeply.

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Jul 12 2010

What I learned today – Day 12

category: what i learned today author: shanta

I’ve expressed myself enough to make it pretty clear I have a love/hate relationship with twitter. As much as I try and go in every morning with no expectations…it always finds a way to disappoint.

About a week ago I started following someone. There were very specific reasons why I did but won’t say because I don’t want to give any clues to who it might be. This person sent a tweet and I replied…got a response back that was quite clear I had completely offended them. The subject was fairly sensitive so it surprised me that they wouldn’t consider that I never would want to offend them when this was one of the first replies I ever sent to them. I wrote back and apologized and heard nothing back…wow, social networking is fun…not.

So fast forward to this week. I keep seeing comments from this person that I feel I want to respond to, yet am really on edge because I don’t want to offend and obviously have no idea what might offend them. But today there was just a comment that I couldn’t ignore. I saw it. I scrolled past it. I came back. I turned off the iphone. I turned it back on. I finally decided to reply and did. It was fine. I don’t expect us to be best twitter buddies but she seemed ok with my offering of support.

What I learned today: I’m a good person. I really care for people. Generally speaking, I do my best to make all my interactions whether in person or otherwise positive. I can’t control how other people translate my words on the internet so I have to just continue to be myself and keep caring, even if I am misunderstood or make mistakes because that is who I am, and that’s not a bad thing to be.

Night night twitter.

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Jul 11 2010

What I learned today – Day 11

category: what i learned today author: shanta

What a day…

It started off pretty badly. Which I guess was to be expected at some point in the day seeing that I had a horrible sleep. I am extremely emotional when I am tired. The kids were good and Craig was understanding but it was like every negative thought I have about myself wanted to purge itself from me…ugh.

I guess I cried out enough of it that I was able to go and do some groceries. Going to the grocery store is not necessarily the highlight of my life but I do like buying groceries for my family. It makes me feel really good when we are able to make really healthy choices and can even buy “local” right now as so many things are grown here in our province.

We got home and I immediately took all our produce we had just bought and cut it up. It something I know I need to do so that 1) it’s ready when it’s time to eat and 2) it doesn’t go to waste…because the truth of the matter is – today was no special day and, with 4 kids it’s rare that I don’t get woken up at night and I’m chronically tired.  If I have a choice between mac&cheese or cutting up 4 different veggies for them and making a dip, humus or guacamole…guess what I am going to choose 9 times out of 10.  I live with a lot of guilt because I know I can do better but often choose what is fast and easy.

So it was a really good feeling seeing all my containers filled and ready to go for the week with beautiful reds, yellows, oranges and greens – health. I also made some fresh salsa and guacamole and dip for the raw veggies. I know that my entire week will be different just because I took an hour to do all the work at once.  I had to ask myself why I haven’t been doing this all along.

What I learned today: Just do it – it will save you in the end. (Now let’s hope I can remember this for next week ;) )

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Jul 10 2010

What I learned today – Day 10

category: what i learned today author: shanta

Honestly there are days when I just want to disappear, go and live in the bush and not have to deal with the world as we know it.

Tonight I had a postpartum visit with a client and was trying to show some interest in their baby so asked:

Me: “So do negro babies lose their hair?”
Dad: “Oh, black babies?”
Me: “Yeah…”

And he answered the question and then we talked about my kids and how they lost their hair…I didn’t think it was a big deal.

I actually thought about how to word the question for several minutes and decided that I didn’t really want to use African American because I sometimes feel it’s in your face politically correct, I didn’t feel comfortable with using the term black and so decided on negro.

I came home and a few minutes ago told my husband this story and his eyes almost popped out of his head. I feel sick to my stomach, on the verge of tears and am tired of either being stupid or not confident enough to know that it’s ok that I make mistakes…probably both.

What I learned today: Always be politically correct. Sigh.

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